You know how you always get a chuckle over the Darwin award winners. But do you ever think of your own near misses? We had one during the aftermath of Hurricane Wilma.

Now, you have to understand first that Florida Power and Light (FPL) was saying that it would be up to a month before power was restored. We were trying to get used to life with no power. So, after a few days of eating non-perishables gently warmed over a candle with the pan propped up on empty cans, I dug out my camp stove. We live in a condo but that wasn't gonna stop us. Oh, no.

Never mind I've had this stove for 20 years and never, not once, have I lit it. Never mind I had some vague recollection that there was something tricky about it. Or that I have 2 small kids living here who wouldn't want to lose their mama. I'm smart. I can do it!

I spent 25 minutes trying. Pump, light, pump some more, poof. Try again. Something like that. Finally, I ask Al to help out because it seems to require quickness and hands being in more  than one place at a time. The baby wakes up and I leave him to it. Ten minutes later he lights it.  One minute later, the screaming starts. In I run. He's holding the fire extinquisher and watching the stove which is blazing on our counter. He wants to throw water on it. No! I get him to stop just in time. I want to blow it out. He gets me to stop redirecting the flames into the strategically placed pile of paper plates which are just behind the stove on the counter. (No!) (YES! Darwin material, no?)

So, he asks, what do we do. SMOTHER it! With what? Never mind our place is about to catch fire and after having been left standing by Wilma, we're gonna burn the sucker down. Won't our neighbors love us. I don't want to sacrifice any of my precious belongings to smothering the thing. Finally I reach for a large pot and put it over the top.

Then I ask him why he didn't just use the fire extinguisher. It turns out he tried but it, like the stove, was one of those useful things we just had but that didn't actually WORK. He quickly read the instructions, pulled the pin, squeezed the handles, and....nothing. It's on the list to get that looked into. It makes a satisfying swish-swish when you shake it. Not sure what the problem there is. Nor where to get it serviced. Well anyway, we'll freecycle the stupid stove to someone who lives in a house and promises to use it outdoors during hurricanes or who actually GOES camping! And we'll put our names down for the Darwin Survivor's Award!



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